THE SHORT, HAPPY COMMUTE
TO A HOME OFFICE CAN CREATE ITS OWN STRESSORS.
STORY BY Heather Kirk-Davidoff ILLUSTRATION BY Kelly Miller
My parents like to pull out a certain photo, usually with the sole intention of embarrassing me. In it, I’m nursing my twins while writing on my laptop computer (precariously balanced on my wrap-around nursing pillow) while talking
on a headset telephone. “Now that’s multi-tasking!” my father will announce.
When I look at that photo, I feel gratitude that I worked from home during the time I had infants. Who could manage an arrangement like that in an office with co-workers?
For the past 19 years, I have been the pastor of a local church, and initially, I lived in the church-owned parsonage, which also housed the church office. My morning commute consisted of walking from my second-floor bedroom to the first-floor office, an ideal routine when I was in the last months of pregnancy.
Once my children could walk (and shred paper), my office was off-limits to them. But they knew when I was in there. And they couldn’t resist making their presence known. They would push scribbled drawings under the door – excruciating to ignore when I was deep in conversation with an upset parishioner. On other days, the kids weren’t as subtle, sometimes kicking my door until our babysitter pulled them away.
I would fantasize about an office away from home – preferably far away. I imagined how focused and efficient I could be in a clean, modern office suite where everyone dressed nicely, no one spilled juice on freshly printed reports and no one screeched while I was on the phone. I longed for separation between my work and home lives so I could step away from being a parent to focus on being a pastor for part of each day.
Now I know better. I’m not exaggerating when I say that the most important factor contributing to my well-being – and that of my family – is my ability to do much of my work from home.
Of course there are downsides. The proximity of the refrigerator, for example. And background noise. In response to the occasional query during a phone call, “What’s going on over there? Is everyone okay?” I assure the caller that no one is dying; my kids are simply practicing their musical instruments – at the same time.
But I’m able to take my children to orthodontic appointments during the day. I can volunteer for an hour at the teacher appreciation lunch and make up the time at an evening meeting later in the week. If a sick kid needs to stay home from school, it’s no big deal. I’m usually home when my kids return from school and sports practice. The half hour after they walk through the door is my best chance to actually converse with my teenaged sons. I wouldn’t trade it for a corner office with a view of the Capitol.
In short, my flexible schedule and my home office make it possible for me to be a parent and a pastor at the same time. It took some practice, but nowadays those roles happily cohabitate in my life.
Unfortunately, this privilege isn’t available for the vast majority of working mothers. According to the National Organization for Women, 51 percent of today’s women return to work within four months of giving birth to their first child. By the time their kids reach the age of my own (12 years-plus), 80 percent of mothers are in the workforce.
Women are under increasing pressure to support their children financially as well as emotionally. When work requires moms to be away from their children and their homes, it can be a struggle to meet the demands of work and family life.
Many women (and men too) say they’d agree to a salary reduction if it meant working from home for at least part of the week. Indeed, telecommuting is on the rise in the U.S. In 2012, 24 percent of the workforce completed some portion of their work at home.
But telecommuting remains controversial. Employers argue that face-to-face interaction builds teams and increases morale. I understand; I’d find it tough to work by myself in my home all day, every day. But families are teams as well, and we need face-to-face time with each other to function. Excessive time apart can lead to morale problems at home as well as work.
Now that my kids are older, I don’t have to multitask the way I did when they were babies. While they are at school, I can work for long stretches without interruption. Most weeknights, our family has dinner together and we don’t answer the phone or text at the table.
But I return phone calls while waiting for my kids’ cross country meet to begin and outline my sermon while waiting outside the violin teacher’s studio.
My hope is that trust and technology will enable more and more parents to work from home, so we can all find a sweet spot from which we can respond to all of the people and priorities that tug at us. *
